Ollie, you have three varklets to take care of, so don’t be exposing us all to the dangers of mankind without great care. Our children, Ollie Jr. ,Wally, and Dolly, deserve to grow up in a safe environment without anymore whacko human influences than they already get from that damnable Internet. There, I’ve said my peace. Even I must admit some of THOSE humans are lovable in a weird sort of way.

Why just the other day, that Mrs. Cohen and her husband were picnic’ing in the field over by farmer Johnson’s place. I overheard her say that they should not eat the sandwiches cause they were covered with ants. Imagine that, not wanting to eat perfectly good and scrumptious ants. I use them almost daily in preparing meals for the family. What could be more wholesome than fresh wriggly ants as a garnish on any dish. I’ll tell you the whole story when you get home from work.